Welcome to the show
Welcome to your favorite program on your favorite channel. Thanks all the millions of you who watch this program every day without fail and making this the most watched show of our generation. Today we interview the showman of modern television, Mr. RC, the King. Mr. RC is the amazing brain behind numerous channels and is the creative director of many operas and reality shows. So without delay let us welcome Mr. Conner.
Interviewer: Lets all cheer for the KING
Audience: KING … KING … WHOA … WELCOME KING
Interviewer: Welcome Mr.RC and before starting off let us take a commercial break. we'll be right back.
Interviewer: Mr. RC, we should thank you for having given humanity the wonderful gift of modern television shows and channels, without which life would not have been even a fraction as exciting as it is today. Let us all thank the KING
Audience: KING … KING … WHOA … THANK YOU KING
Interviewer: You have achieved so much … what is the secret of your success?
RC: Creativity, hard work, a desire to succeed, and above all the love and affection of the millions of viewers all around the planet
Interviewer: What was your inspiration? How did you get all the creative ideas? How did it all start?
RC: Once upon a time when people had no entertainment sources, they relaxed amidst nature, they visited family and friends, they played and ran, they passionately pursued their so called hobbies, they read books, they traveled, and they even found time for introspection. Those were the activities that filled thier life, and that was the most of part of it. They thought that was life.
Interviewer: Eeeww! What sick life.
Audience: SICK LIFE … SICK LIFE ... WHOA … WHAT A SICK LIFE
RC: But then modern television brought hope into people’s lives. Over generations, people gradually began to realize what a pathetic life they have been leading. Life began to adapt and human beings began to grow smarter. They decided that they wanted to develop. They began to understand what they had to do. Why spend time reading a book while you could effortlessly watch TV. The very thought of sitting on a couch simply staring at a light and sound emitting box was obviously appealing. People realized this was the smart thing to do. Why strain one’s brain on reality when one could float in virtual issues and even better blankly and aimlessly stare at the digital wall. People made the right choice and shifted to TV. You people know what you want. You people are smart.
Audience: SMART … SMART … WHOA … WE ARE SMART
Interviewer: How did you come up with the idea of the reality shows?
RC: This is a logical answer to people’s choices. People know that TV is life and what life is worth living without being on TV. So, we picked up the most passionate and determined people and put them on TV. Viewers watched these people who were living their dream of being on TV. Audiece saw themselves in these people and derived vicarious pleasure. To do a greater service to humanity we gave more people a chance of their lifetime to be on TV in shows such as this one. You all have succeeded in your life. You are on TV. You are the winners.
Audience: WINNERS … WINNERS … WHOA … WE ARE THE WINNERS
Interviewer: Could you please tell us about your new marketing/advertising channels?
RC: Before the advent of these channels not even a single person was content with his or her life. They needed something that will change their lives into a fairy tale with a happily ever after ending. They needed stuff that would solve all their problems and would help them lead a fulfilling life. We advertise and sell products that would change people’s lives for ever. (Their little brains cannot understand that this is what their lives were destined to be .. this is how they were destined to live. So, we mess with their brains. The viewers' minds are so messed up they do not give a damn as to whether or not what we say is reasonable. The ever unsatisfied are always thinking of ways to change the way they live and live a "better" life. We mess with their minds.)
Interviewer: Wow ...
Audience:
Interviewer: Tell us more about the other reality shows you produce.
RC: We have reality shows with the rich successful people, superstars. Our viewers who so very desperately want to change their life and lifestyle and want to be rich and famous watch all our shows for hours and hours. I'm sure you too watch them and will accept that our shows are like drugs, forget reality and convince oneself momentarily of your dream.
Interviewer: Wow ...
Audience:
Interviewer: How successful has your career been?
RC: We are doing well I should say. People no longer get out of their houses except for work. We have given them reason to relax at home. They are perpetually in front of the television. The kids do not know that outdoor activities are possible. They no longer aim to be on their school soccer team, but to be on the television shows. There are a few lose ends which we have to tie up, but we are doing it. We are conducting research studies regarding how to further manipulate human minds, and get in more and more people to watch our shows..
Interviewer: Wow ...
Audience: KING … KING … WHOA … THANK YOU KING
The End.
PS: Inspired by the character Sara Goldfarb in "Requiem for a Dream". After much effort, this piece falls far below what I expected it to be.
Interviewer: Lets all cheer for the KING
Audience: KING … KING … WHOA … WELCOME KING
Interviewer: Welcome Mr.RC and before starting off let us take a commercial break. we'll be right back.
Audience: KING … KING … WHOA … THANK YOU KING
Interviewer: You have achieved so much … what is the secret of your success?
RC: Creativity, hard work, a desire to succeed, and above all the love and affection of the millions of viewers all around the planet
Interviewer: What was your inspiration? How did you get all the creative ideas? How did it all start?
RC: Once upon a time when people had no entertainment sources, they relaxed amidst nature, they visited family and friends, they played and ran, they passionately pursued their so called hobbies, they read books, they traveled, and they even found time for introspection. Those were the activities that filled thier life, and that was the most of part of it. They thought that was life.
Interviewer: Eeeww! What sick life.
Audience: SICK LIFE … SICK LIFE ... WHOA … WHAT A SICK LIFE
RC: But then modern television brought hope into people’s lives. Over generations, people gradually began to realize what a pathetic life they have been leading. Life began to adapt and human beings began to grow smarter. They decided that they wanted to develop. They began to understand what they had to do. Why spend time reading a book while you could effortlessly watch TV. The very thought of sitting on a couch simply staring at a light and sound emitting box was obviously appealing. People realized this was the smart thing to do. Why strain one’s brain on reality when one could float in virtual issues and even better blankly and aimlessly stare at the digital wall. People made the right choice and shifted to TV. You people know what you want. You people are smart.
Audience: SMART … SMART … WHOA … WE ARE SMART
Interviewer: How did you come up with the idea of the reality shows?
RC: This is a logical answer to people’s choices. People know that TV is life and what life is worth living without being on TV. So, we picked up the most passionate and determined people and put them on TV. Viewers watched these people who were living their dream of being on TV. Audiece saw themselves in these people and derived vicarious pleasure. To do a greater service to humanity we gave more people a chance of their lifetime to be on TV in shows such as this one. You all have succeeded in your life. You are on TV. You are the winners.
Audience: WINNERS … WINNERS … WHOA … WE ARE THE WINNERS
Interviewer: Could you please tell us about your new marketing/advertising channels?
RC: Before the advent of these channels not even a single person was content with his or her life. They needed something that will change their lives into a fairy tale with a happily ever after ending. They needed stuff that would solve all their problems and would help them lead a fulfilling life. We advertise and sell products that would change people’s lives for ever. (Their little brains cannot understand that this is what their lives were destined to be .. this is how they were destined to live. So, we mess with their brains. The viewers' minds are so messed up they do not give a damn as to whether or not what we say is reasonable. The ever unsatisfied are always thinking of ways to change the way they live and live a "better" life. We mess with their minds.)
Interviewer: Wow ...
Audience:
Interviewer: Tell us more about the other reality shows you produce.
RC: We have reality shows with the rich successful people, superstars. Our viewers who so very desperately want to change their life and lifestyle and want to be rich and famous watch all our shows for hours and hours. I'm sure you too watch them and will accept that our shows are like drugs, forget reality and convince oneself momentarily of your dream.
Interviewer: Wow ...
Audience:
Interviewer: How successful has your career been?
RC: We are doing well I should say. People no longer get out of their houses except for work. We have given them reason to relax at home. They are perpetually in front of the television. The kids do not know that outdoor activities are possible. They no longer aim to be on their school soccer team, but to be on the television shows. There are a few lose ends which we have to tie up, but we are doing it. We are conducting research studies regarding how to further manipulate human minds, and get in more and more people to watch our shows..
Interviewer: Wow ...
Audience: KING … KING … WHOA … THANK YOU KING
The End.
PS: Inspired by the character Sara Goldfarb in "Requiem for a Dream". After much effort, this piece falls far below what I expected it to be.
2 Comments:
Nice one ... I recognised Requiem right away.
I don't know if it is just TV that is bad though. Movies, all sweet romantic songs and anything else that can be all pervasive and yet totally unreal is probably similarly 'dangerous'.
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Sanketh
That was a good read!
Came here on Totti's recommendation :)
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